Independence Day

Back in April I wrote about my daughter and her birthday. Today I celebrated the birth of my youngest child, my son who turned 16 today. Boys may not celebrate "Sweet 16" but it's an important milestone on the road to independence. Being eligible to learn to drive and getting a license is a very big deal. We live on the edge of town, miles away from friends,sports, activities, school. Everywhere he goes requires a ride. Even when his friends come over, I usually end up driving one way because if I didn't, their parents wouldn't let them. It's not that we live in a small town out in the boon docks, it's just that where we live and the terrible gridlock that stifles the roadways makes getting here a headache. My daughter was so intimidated by the roadways and aggressive drivers here she did not get her license until she moved back to Hawaii. My son is different. He has been waiting and preparing for this a long time. Soon, he can drive himself. He will be Mr man about town. Meanwhile, I'm suffering a little bit of an identity crisis. For the past ten years my principal occupation has been that of chauffeur. Now with my daughter in Hawaii and my son ready to drive, he will not be the only one gaining independence. I will have much more time on my hands. I'm not sure what I'll do with all of it. More time to craft and garden and cook and read. Now, some days it seems that all I do is drive. I am in the car more hours than not. I long for days where I never have to leave the house. It just seems as if the coming and going ruins everything, interrupts the flow. I don't start anything I can't finish in a short period of time.

Long ago when I lived on my boat my (now ex) husband and I spent a summer anchored at Point Conception, CA. We sailed down to Gaviota pier a couple of times to pick up visitors and once, just to get an ice cream cone. We sailed to Santa Barbara for fresh foods and ice and to fill the water tanks twice. Most of the time we lay at anchor. I went to the beach there exactly once. I could take the dinghy out to the kelp beds and fish a while. I could swim. My husband would surf 6-8 hours a day. I did not feel the need to go anywhere. I could just be. I know I'm not ready for that kind of solitude just yet, but I will be having a little bit more of my own time soon. Maybe I won't be an attention deficit crafter anymore after that.